By Roman Gana
The Leyte Herald
The Payphone Panic: Survival of the Fittest
Back in the '80s, if someone wanted to reach you for a job, you’d be picking up a call at a specific payphone. My friend directed me to one by Belleville Metro: “It’s next to the ramp.” I still asked what to do if it didn’t work. He rattled off another number, like he was the walking Yellow Pages. Now, tell a Gen Z-er to do that, and they’d probably quit the job on the spot. No phone? Total meltdown. Expecting them to use a payphone is like asking them to send a message by pigeon post! Radical, man! Plus, you'd have to provide a wrapped-phone handle unit, gloves, and a small lemon-scented sanitizer spray bottle. It's like: gag me with a spoon moment!
Actually, I'm not totally honest here. We did have cell phones back then. One. It was Don Johnson's laying on the leather seat of his Testarosa on Miami Vice. Unfortunately, he wasn't around when I needed to make a call.
Feeling Bad Wasn’t an Option
Today, calling in sick because of “anxiety” is a legitimate excuse. But back then? Forget it. You’d be out the door before noon. We had to hustle, make up traffic excuses, or whip out fake doctor’s notes. It was a game of survival. That’s why Gen X is resourceful—we didn’t have a choice. Now, people can stay in bed because they’re “feeling off,” and no one questions it. Sure, it’s more efficient now, but hey, if you’re going to fake a sick day, at least try to be creative. Bodacious, for sure!
Talking Without Emojis: A Lost Art
Conversations used to be deep and meaningful, stretching across 30 minutes or more. Now, they barely last three minutes, and it’s all about how great they are. Before you know it, the call ends with them snapping a selfie and posting it with a #SelfCare. There’s no connection anymore, just endless scrolling and shallow talk. Just a facade of communication that's killing the art of conversation. But hey, I won’t pretend I can keep up with their gaming marathons. I’m from the Pac-Man and pinball days, a relic from the arcade era. Totally, boss!
Romance—Swipe Left on the '80s
Romance? Gen Z needs a crash course from us veterans. We had to work for it, sit at a café, charm the girl with witty lines or a guitar riff. Now, they find WIFI, swipe right, text, and think they’ve found love. But it gets darker. Some are falling for AI programming bots to act as girlfriends, pouring their hearts out to a machine that piles up their thoughts, learn, and eventually react like some psycho girlfriend. And they’re serious about it, some of these men around the world even end their lives over these digital fantasies. It’s a whole new level of delusion which seems to become a standard behavior for an entire generation. But hey, don't have a cow over it, we're here to help. Definitely. No need to barf this out.
Wake Up and Smell the 80s
Here’s my tip for Gen Z: turn off your phone and put it in a drawer. No, not that drawer—the one next to your bed. Then, grab a water bottle and head to a park. Just take it all in for two hours. Sounds hard, right? Now, for the ultimate challenge—don’t turn your phone back on for an hour. You’ll feel how trapped you are in this digital maze. I did it for an entire day and let me tell you, I felt free. Gnarly, dude!
Gen Z Therapy: Time-Travel to the 80s
Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe some Gen Z-ers would thrive if thrown into the '80s. They might see it as therapy, a break from the endless stream of notifications. Imagine a world where you had to look someone in the eye to talk! Any takers? Hit me up at my payphone in Belleville. The number? Just Google it—you've got WHY FAI connection, right? Totally righteous!
Cool! Now let us all just vedge out together until the next episode.
Roman Gana
That was entertaining! "Why Fai !" lol